Might As Well Get Paid For It
by SairSeir
Summary: Edward Elric was getting tired of people coming to him so he ends up trying to decide on if he should go through with it what he's thinking on doing or just let it be while Roy, his lover, mentally reveals how vicious he can be if deprived of some things.


Might As Well Get Paid For It

Edward sat silently at his desk staring at the information that he retrieved earlier wondering if he really wanted to actually go through with this bullshit even though he would be able to breeze right through it. Sure it normally takes quite a few years of study for normal people to obtain but 'normal' didn't really apply to him to begin with because of how many damn times he saw the damnable Gate of Truth. As he stared at the information with an indecisive frown his mind wandered to snippets of memories that kicked his ass into thinking about doing this.

 _Ed glared at the two toned blonde headed male before him with a sour look. "Havoc, why in the hell are you coming to me with this?"_

" _Because Boss, you usually look at it objectively and logically!" Jean said with a smile._

 _Ed snorted. "So what? You do know that I'm not certified to do this no matter how knowledgeable I am! So I repeat, why come to me?"_

 _This time Jean grinned with a twinkle in his eyes that signified his amusement. "Why Boss, I would think it's obvious; it's because it's free!"_

That memory still chaffed him and one of many that made him start thinking about this because really, he didn't want to be someone's door mat all because it was free. Another snippet of a memory came to his mind.

 _Edward blinked in surprise at the Techy before him that decided to disrupt his lunch which made him put his sandwich down, that was half way to his open mouth, when he noticed that it was in the same position when he paused in shock._

" _Whoa, wait, what? What the hell Fuery, I'm not certified for this and it isn't in my job description!" Ed said flatly as he frowned._

" _I know Ed but I heard that you were best to ask! Please help!" Kain pleaded with a kicked puppy look. "And besides, you don't charge a dime!"_

Sighing silently Ed knew where Fuery had heard that from because Havoc never seemed to think that being certification was required and that being 'free' meant 'abuse' it. Really, couldn't these people just loosen their damned grips on their wallets and go to someone that was certified for this shit to begin with? Another snippet of memory popped up in his mind that actually had him thinking about doing this because he was starting to get tired of this crap.

 _Ed glared at Heymans with irritation. "You know if this shit keeps up I'm going to start charging people! This is getting ridiculous!"_

 _Heymans laughed lightly at that outburst. "Ah but you can't do that!"_

 _Edward snorted before growling viciously. "And why not?"_

" _Because Boss, you're not certified and could actually be arrested for fraud." Falmen this time spoke up since he was in the same room though it seemed he was finding this amusing._

 _Ed groaned miserably. "Why me?"_

 _Heymans laughed lightly this time. "Because it's free!"_

 _Falmen snorted with amusement before going back to reading whatever it was he was reading._

Yep, that was the straw that broke the chimera's back, if he actually goes through with this than no one can't really say that it would be free anymore; honestly it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and get a degree for this because this would give him an option for a job if he ever decided to retire from the military and he knew that this would bring in good money should he find it a desirable job. Though the question at the moment is if he should do it because it really had nothing to do with alchemy and more about helping people; he had asked his younger brothers opinion and all he got was an amuse chuckle and a 'It's your choice Brother, do what you want but don't be surprised with the outcome' because his little brother had a fucked up sense of humor.

He shook his head as his frown became more pronounced, yeah it's true that he already had degrees in other subjects that he went for after getting Al's body back but he was stumped at if this was something that he should do or more yet if he wanted to. His head snapped up when he heard his office door being opened and closed; there coming towards him was his smug bastard lover Roy Mustang who just so happened to also now be the current Fuhrer of the country.

"Hello love, you look like you were in deep thought." Roy said with a smile.

Ed snorted with amusement. "Something like that; just trying to decide if I want to get another degree but I'm not sure if I should because there's only one reasoning behind it."

Roy raised a brow, Ed could see that he was now curious because the bastard knew him and Ed paid attention when Roy's voice broke into his mind before he got lost in his thoughts again. "Oh, what degree is it that you're going for that has such little reasoning behind it?"

"Masters in Phycology if I go for it." Ed answered as he poked the packet of information before him that lay innocently on his desk.

This time Roy blinked in shock. "Now Major General Elric, why in the hell would you want to go for something like that?"

Ed winced at his military rank because really he was the youngest ever to get that stupid title but he pushed it aside. "Because I'm tired of people coming to me with their fucking problems and I'm also tired of them saying 'because it's free' like I'm some type of funky mental guru!"

Roy coughed and cleared his throat so he could hide his smile and amusement. "Really, so you think that if you get a degree in it people would stop coming to you?"

Ed snorted before speaking with a sour note. "Oh I know they won't stop but they might if they know that I can charge them for my services if I wanted to."

Roy groaned as he mentally started to think of different ways of torturing people if Edward goes through with this because seriously, when Ed does go for a degree in anything he never stops until he has the highest he can achieve and that usually means sleepless nights and sex deprivation until Ed came to him for it when he wanted it.

"Besides, if they keep coming to me I might as well get paid for it!" Ed said with a vindictive smirk.

Roy sighed because he could see that his lover just made his mind up which means bye-bye peaceful night's sleep and bye-bye healthy sex life until Ed accomplished in getting his desired degree. "Yes love, they _are_ going to pay for it."

Roy could nearly visually see sex and sleep waving bye-bye in his mind's eye; yes people are going to pay and he's going to making it more painful than an arm and a leg, no pun intended at all towards his lover on that because he wasn't sure if there was enough paperwork to drown those with that could equal to that pain Ed had gone through with automail but he was going to try and make those pay for what he was going to go through. Sleep and sex depravity sucks and he's going to make sure that everyone who isn't Ed suffer with him.


End file.
